Standing Guard
by sakizar
Summary: It's been a long week, and it's 3:30 AM. Except no one in Avenger's Tower is sleeping. Darcy takes this as a personal offense. (Really just my excuse for typing out Darcy arguing everyone into submission.) PJC/CB, AES/VP, TO/JF, DL/NR pairings mentioned only in background.
1. Change of Watch

**AN: AHHHH! I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't have time to be here. I guess it's just you know Darcy. Oh well. **

**And well... Phillip J Coulson. **

**Don't hold out a lot of hope for this ever being completed. Like ever. **

**BTW pairing are background and neglible to plot but are Phil/Clint, Tony/Pepper (even though I HATE this pairing), Thor/Jane, and Darcy/Natasha (mostly b/c I think Nat would be endlessly amused by Darcy and her attitude on life). Steve & Bruce are unattached (well, Bruce is still in love w/ Betty but she's not in NYC and they have a hard enough relationship that neither is willing to try long distance, but I digress). **

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: Change of Watch**

"Darcy."

"Phil."

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" His question is dry in the way only he can ask a question. The way that makes Darcy think he actually want to know what she _thinks_ she's doing so that he can tell her if she's really on the right track.

"Hmmm, well, Bossman, Clint has been teaching me the layout, so I figured I should test myself to see if it's really sticking."

Coulson's face doesn't so much as twitch. Darn, she thought that might get a reaction, an eye twitch or maybe even a slight smirk. Because really, she had just dropped from his air duct claiming that his lover was teaching her how to navigate the ventilation system in one of the most secure buildings in the world.

"Man, you have the best poker face ever - of all time." She really does admire this about him. He's sitting there cool as a winter storm while she's deliberately being a security risk and flaunting time spent in confined spaces with his man. Not that she would ever do anything with said man, because, just no. That is strictly Coulson-property.

But this has been a long week and Coulson has been in this office far too long. And soon something's going to break, but not if Darcy can help it.

Coulson closes his eyes and heaves a deep breath. He must read the set of her to mean something clandestine and mischievous. "Thank you, Miss Lewis." He tries to continue filing his paperwork. "Is there anything you require?"

"Well, Agent Bossman. No, as a matter of fact. I was just wandering the tower when I thought I'd drop in to see if you needed anything. So, do you require anything? Coffee? Donuts? Baguette? Poptart?"

This offer startles him into glancing up at her. He blinks once. And again. "What would you do if I asked for a blueberry cupcake?"

Darcy giggles. God, she loves this man. He such a snarky bastard, but he has the weirdest quirks ever. Like the Captain America fanboy thing and the reality TV addiction and the biggest sweet tooth in the world. "I'd tell you to ask again later. I only have coffee, donuts, and poptarts." She thinks on it a moment, twirling her hair and grinning. "Though I think I'll get the supplies to make some blueberry cupcakes this weekend. So what'll it be, 007?"

"Hmmm, coffee, please. What flavors?"

"Donuts are glazed, sprinkle, strawberry cake, and chocolate. Poptart … well, we pretty much have any flavor you can think of."

"They ate all the blueberry cake donuts."

Her heart skips a beat. Oh, god. He's whining. He sees her change in posture and scowls at his paperwork. Or at least, as much as he ever scowls when not in the vicinity of an Avenger. He's worse than she thought. He must be dead tired if his voice is giving his emotions away.

"Bossman?" Her voice is softer now, less prodding and more gentling.

"Yeah, sorry." He rubs at his eyes, almost all pretense of composure leaking away as his shoulders slump into a tired sprawl. "I'm fine, Darcy."

She leans over his desk and all but hisses at that. "I hate that word." Her voice sharpens to a rapier of vitriol. This might not be the best tactic to get Coulson to listen to her, but she can't help it. The past few years have taught her one thing if nothing else. Sometimes the smartest, most together people she knows can be utter morons. "Fine is useless. Fine has multiple definitions all with highly subjective natures. Too many are inexact exaggerations. My personal definition is freaked out, insane, neurotic, and emotional."

He laughs low and tired, a dark rusted out sound that tells her he agrees wholeheartedly. Then his expression turns inquisitive, searching hers for some clue to what she wants. "You handling me, Lewis?"

"If I have to, Son of Coul." She meets his eyes, remorseless as always. And unyielding.

He straightens, words of argument forming in his eyes and behind his teeth.

"Phil." She fills his name with the worry, the need to help, she feels aching in her heart.

And just like that the fight drains, and he falls back against his chair again. "Alright, Darcy. I'll go grab some shut eye."

"Thank you."

"Get out of my office."

She salutes him sloppily and scrambles back into the air vent. She hears him start to chuckle. Her lips quirk, and she whispers, "Stand down, ranger. I've got the watch."


	2. Secure the Begbugs

**AN: Ah. Obviously I own nothing. Blah blah blah. Here's Tony...**

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: Secure the Bedbugs  
**

Tony's working.

Well, to be truthful, Tony looks like he's working, while Darcy thinks that he's really just fiddling with his holographic interface to avoid going to bed. He does that sometimes.

He's been doing that for almost 24 hours right now.

Darcy is not best pleased.

Pepper was a great woman, a great personal assistant, and a great chief executive officer. Unfortunately, she couldn't do all three at the same time and still maintain some semblance of sanity. And since she couldn't exactly stop being a great woman especially when dating and putting up with the nonsense that surrounded Tony Stark... Well, Tony was more often than not left to his own devices lately. And that was a problem.

Not an insurmountable problem, and Darcy liked her chances. She'd just argued Agent Phillip J 'I've never actually taken a voluntary vacation' Coulson into standing down at least long enough to contemplate a nap. She'd tazed a god. She had experience dealing with luring the über-science people away from their lovely, lovely über science.

She could conquer Tony's insomnia.

"Mr. Stark, Ms. Potts has requested your presence in your room." She never said that she planned on playing fair.

He blinks at his interface. "This is my room. These are all my rooms. Now, shoo, Intern Girl."

"Of course, Mr. Stark. I'll just go keep her company in your stead." Hah, ignore that.

"Yes, you go keep her..." He stalls out playing back what he heard. "Wait! What?" His head jerks back, and he flails his arms, whirling to the side to face her. He narrows his raccoon-y, bloodshot eyes. "My Pepper." He glares a moment more before shifting his focus upward. "J, is Pepper in my bedroom?"

"I'm afraid not, Sir. Ms. Potts is now in her office." Oh, JARVIS, you traitorous, traitorous bitch.

"Hah!" Tony points a shaking, grease-stained finger at her. "You're from SHIELD, aren't you? I can tell because you're a lying liar who lies!"

Darcy rolls her eyes. God, this man is such a little kid. "Mr. Stark -"

"And stop that. Do not call me Mr. Stark. It makes me twitch. My name is Tony. I am a mechanic." He gestures to the grease and oil artfully covering his clothes, face, and hands. "Not one of your fancy-pants doctors."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that there are quite a few universities have given you honorary doctorates. I think Pepper said you were at four or five."

He shudders theatrically. "Shit. Do not tell me things like that. That is just, no. That is the worst thing that I have heard this week. And this week was complete and utter shit. I am not a fancy-pants doctor. I am a technologically advanced grease-monkey."

Darcy tries to stifle her laughter. She really does, but this man is just so cute that she can't help the giggles that escape. "Wow, you are really just everyone's special snowflake, aren't you?"

He scowls at her. "JARVIS, why is this woman in my workshop?"

"Sir," the A.I.'s voice is the epitome of put-upon and if he could, Darcy has no doubt that he would be rolling his non-existant eyes at his creator. "Miss Lewis has been assigned AVENGER class security clearance which you have designated as having full access to your workshop."

Darcy smirks up at the ceiling. "J, that is so awesome. Thank you very much."

She glances back to the engineer. He's staring now, with an eerie focus that Darcy had heard about. He tilts his head one way and then the other like a bird of prey or a hunting dog trying to size up a foreign object. She sighs. She didn't even do anything, what now? "What, Tony?"

"Why do you have AVENGER class security clearance?"

Ah, she didn't actually know. All she knew was that her magic little badge hadn't denied her access to any door she had tried. So she shrugs. "I'm the mighty Son of Coul's favorite."

He narrows his eyes. "Bullshit. Agent doesn't have favorites. He has minions."

So much love for Phil. "Fine, I'm his chief minion."

He waves this assertion away. "What else do you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you've obviously been sent to wrangle me, but what else do you do here?" He turns back to his interface, then to a mass of circuits and wires to poke at it with a screwdriver. He reaches for a tool that turns out to be a soldering iron.

"Should you be using that now?" she asks waving at the flaming tool.

He waves it negligently. "Of course. I do most of my best inventing while shit-faced. And this is nothing. Answer." He continues prodding at the piece of machinery.

"I told Phil to take a nap earlier."

Tony's hand slips, fortunately not burning himself, but the same might not be said for the small burgeoning machine. He frowns down at it. "Fuck. That might have been important."

"To what?"

He tilts it one way and the other, squinting at it. "I'm not entirely sure, but, hmmm…" He brings it less than an inch away. He takes a few minutes to examine it.

"Tony?"

"Nope, I have no clue what the hell this was supposed to be." He drops it to the his cluttered workspace. "So, you told Coulson to take a nap?"

She nods enthusiastically. "Yep, I'm pretty sure he did it, too."

"Damn, you are good. How?"

"He's had a hard week. I think he was looking for an excuse and knew that I would badger him until he gave in."

Tony sits statue-still for several moments. He chews on his bottom lip. "You gonna badger me until I give in?"

Darcy drops into the nearest lab chair and beams at him, letting him take from that what he would.

"Right. I guess it's beddy-bye time for Tony." He stands and stretches, eliciting a horrendous series of noises. "J, what is the actual date and time?" he asks, starting toward the door of his shop.

"It is currently October 31st, 2013, 3:50 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time."

Tony startles at that and stares at Darcy. "What the hell are you doing up?"

Darcy snorts. "All of the Avengers had a bad week. None of you were asleep. If someone attacks today or tomorrow, as they almost certainly will (because, really? It's Halloween, and the crazies think it's their holiday) New York and the world will have to depend on the X-Men and the Fantastic Four. Which is never a good thing. And even if it is a world-wide crisis, you'll all be useless because none of you have slept more than four consecutive hours of sleep in the last week. And especially not in the last forty-eight hours."

Tony kicks his lab table petulantly. "Shit, yeah, okay. Duty done. I'll go get some sleep."

"Upstairs, Mr. Stark."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

She watches him leave and follows him a moment before whispering, "Don't let the bedbugs bite."

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**When I was thinking of a date for JARVIS to answer I was originally going to make it some random Thursday or Friday. Then i saw when Halloween was (a Thursday), and that sealed the deal b/c I imagine super-villains get ridiculous the week (even weeks) leading up to Halloween given their tendency toward melodramatics and posturing.**

**Also I would LOOOOOOVE some feedback. PLZ N TY!**


	3. Plan of Attack

CHAPTER 3: Plan of Attack

Darcy frowns down at the TV pit. Natasha and Clint are sitting there staring at each other over a bottle of vodka while Thor plays Mario Kart 8 with a bit more viciousness than is strictly necessary.

This might be a little more than difficult than she planned.

"Hey, big guy, easy does it with the controller. Tony's gone to bed and won't be able to fix it for hours yet."

He looks up with his 'I am a golden retriever' smile. "Lady Darcy!"

Neither Clint nor Natasha seem to so much as draw breath. Well, that can't possibly be good.

"So are they dead or just taking vows against breathing?"

He pauses his game to look at his teammates. His brow furrows and takes on the look Jane calls 'these mortals are ridiculous'. All of Thor's expressions have subtitles because of reasons. "They informed me earlier that they were going to meditate, I think. They were not clear but told me that they would not need anything and that my game would not disturb them."

"Right." She walks to the table and grabs the vodka from the table.

Clint startles 'awake'. He peers blearily at her. "Hey, what gives?" His eyes struggle to focus. "Darce? You made me lose. Not cool."

"My bad. It's bedtime. Phil should already be there. You should get some rest."

He slouches into the couch, frowning. "How'd you swing that?"

"I pointed out that he wasn't okay." She shrugs. "Well, that and I paraphrased the new _Star Trek_ reboot at him."

"'Fine has variable meanings'?"

She grins fiercely. "Yep." She sighs and shoves him onto the floor. "Look, Clint, you can barely see straight. Not exactly a good quality in a sniper. Not to mention, that under normal circumstances I shouldn't be able to move you."

He sprawls under the coffee table and sulks. "Meh." He glares up at her. "Yeah, okay. G'night, Darce." He crawls from under the table and nods to Thor. He looks over at Natasha. "Good luck with her."

"Yeah, thanks." She pokes Thor in the arm. "Jane's waiting for you too." She waves at both of them. "Go on, skeedaddle. Shoo!"

They both smile at her and take off.

Darcy takes a deep breath and picks her way carefully to Natasha who is still staring fixedly into the space where Clint had been sitting. Darcy sits and stares back. "Hey, you."

"Hmmm, thank you." The words are barely a breath. Her voice is soft and hoarse from disuse. "Who's still awake?"

"Bruce, Steve, Pepper, and you." Darcy ticks off the names on her fingers.

Natasha makes a long thoughtful noise. "Bruce will be relatively easy, but the other two... Pepper should be okay if she's last, but Steve won't go easily. He's sulking because that kid in Queens is risking his life."

"You mean Parker?"

Natasha gazes at Darcy for a few long moments. "Darcy, how do you know his name?"

"Well, I may have accidentally met him a few months ago."

Natasha sighs. "Darcy, he's in high school. If nothing else, he needs support."

"I know. I gave him my number and Coulson's number in case he ever needed help. But he's really protective of his aunt and friends." Darcy pokes her girlfriend. "Go to sleep. I'll be there soon."

"Who's next?"

"Brucey, I think."

"Hmmm, be careful."

"Oh hush. He's a teddy bear."

"Right."

"G'night, Nat." With that, Darcy stands and plants a kiss on Natasha's bright red curls.

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**I'm really sorry about this chapter, but I feel like these three are too practical to put up as much of a fight as their teammates. Also their characterization makes it a little more difficult to stage an actual argument.**


	4. Through the Cracks

**I am sooooo bored. So, here's Brucey. Like I said last time, he's a ridiculous, ridiculous man.**

* * *

Darcy finds Bruce in his lab.

She had expected as much. What she hadn't expected was to find him in the lotus position in his underwear on one of his lab tables.

For a whole minute, she had no idea what to do with this. "Huh," she huffs out. "Ah, Bruce?"

His head jerks up, his eyes flying open. The panic there quickly fades as recognition sets in. "Darcy."He smiles. Then he blushes as he glances down at himself and his state of undress. "Uh, yeah. This is a little weird, huh?" He absently scratches his neck.

"Well, yes, a little."

Neither of them says anything for a minute.

Darcy rolls her eyes. "You didn't lock your lab. You don't get to be awkward about people invading your semi-personal space if you don't lock the door. I know you can." She fidgets with her badge. "Even if they do happen to find you mostly naked and meditating. By the way, is there an actual reason for the almost nudity?"

"I, uh, didn't think anyone besides the Avengers could get in. And I didn't think any of them would be coming to check on me. And well, I was feeling a little out of control and didn't want to ruin any more clothes than strictly necessary."

That can't be good. "Coulson might have."

"Yeah, but ... he usually too busy wrangling Tony, Clint, Steve, and Thor." He stares down at his hands. "Not necessarily in that order."

Darcy narrows her eyes. "Too busy. So what does that mean exactly?"

His mouth does some rather enthusiastic gymnastics. "I can take care of myself. I had to learn so I can keep the Other Guy from getting frustrated."

"So what you're telling me is that no one's bothering to take care of you?"

He shrugs, determinedly not looking at her. "I guess."

"Unacceptable." The abruptness of her tone shocks even her.

Bruce cradles his head in his hands. "Darcy, it's -"

"No." Darcy cuts him off before he can even try to argue. "If you say 'fine', I won't be able to stop myself from hitting you. Which I can't do because then you'll hulk-out and wake up your teammates that I've just managed to bully into sleeping." She takes a deep breath. "Bruce, I understand that you're a grown man very used to taking care of yourself. That you are very self-aware. That you've been on your own for a very long time. But it is unacceptable that you're down here meditating in your shorts at 4:30 A.M. Especially after this past week."

His smile is crooked and self-deprecating. He opens his mouth, but she cuts him off.

"No, I've gotten Coulson, Tony, Thor, Clint, and Nat to got to sleep. It is your turn, Dr. Banner. Only Steve and Pepper are still up. Ask JARVIS if you don't believe me."

"Indeed, while Sir and Agent Romanov are still awake they are laying down in their respective beds. Agents Barton and Coulson, Mr. Odinson, and Dr. Foster are all sound asleep." JARVIS intones preemptively.

Darcy poked his chest. "See, it's okay. It's bedtime."

"I, uh, usually wake up around this time."

Darcy snorts, no doubt making rather lackluster opinion of that perfectly clear. "You've been on high alert for at least the last forty-eight hours. It's bedtime."

He smiles and runs a hand through his hair. "You drive a hard bargain, Miss Lewis."

"Shoo, Dr. Banner. Hear that." She cups her ear. "Your bed's calling you. It's missed you."

"Yeah, okay. Night, Darcy." He untangles his limbs and climbs down from the table. He wobbles a moment, but finds his balance quickly.

They walk out of the lab, and as he continues down the hall, Darcy calls goodnight after him. She stops just outside the lab and scowls. "JARVIS."

"I know, Miss Lewis." JARVIS is an intuitive system. He knows what she wants.

"You monitor him, right?" Because she can understand that limited life-forms need rest and sometimes genius scientists can be sneaky, slippery beings that will avoid taking care of themselves at all costs if they are distracted enough. And that is very much against her mandate.

"Of course. I monitor all that reside within my walls. But I know that many may overlook those that attempt to blend into the background."

"Good. He's too important for us to let him fall through the cracks." She help thinking about the footage she's seen of the Chitauri Invasion, of Iron Man falling from the tear in the sky and a huge streak of green catching him. Thinking of Tony and Jane bickering at the rumpled man while he smiles calmly and snarks back at them.

"Yes, Miss Lewis."

* * *

**Next time is Steve. Also a ridiculous, ridiculous man.**

**You know what, I think all of them are ridiculous, ridiculous men. Except Natasha, who is in fact a woman. However she also tends to find her teammates ridiculous, ridiculous men. So does Darcy for that matter. Most of the female characters of the Marvel Universe that spend any substantial time with the Avengers find them ridiculous, ridiculous men. And most of them tend to be ridiculously and scarily competent. Especially in the Cinematic Universe. **


	5. Responsibility's Burden

Steve is working on the bag when Darcy arrives in the gym. Not a good sign. Drawing is his happy activity or at least his contemplative activity. But working the bag is his frustrated, angry activity. He doesn't want to think. He has too much rage, too much impotent anger.

Crap. Oh well.

"Captain."

He drops his fists and turns. "Miss Lewis."

"Can't sleep?"

"0500. Who says I didn't?" He asks with a strained smile.

Darcy feels absolutely no shame on calling him on his bullshit. "JARVIS."

He looks startled for a moment but then slightly chagrined. "Yeah." He glances up and chuckles. "No offense, JARVIS, but that's a little annoying."

"Understandable, Captain Rogers, however it is my prime directive to ensure the health and happiness of the residents within my walls."

Steve and Darcy both blink in surprise at this admission and its implications for JARVIS's programming and, more revealing, his programmer. Darcy breaks first, slow smile spreading. "I knew he was just a big ol' softie."

Steve grins. "Yeah, I'm starting to get a better picture., too He's a bit like a hedgehog."

Darcy nods enthusiastically. "Absolutely, all prickly exterior and soft underbelly." She sits down on a bench and pats the spot next to her.

He waffles a moment taking off the tape on his hands but then finally sits.

"Steve, about Peter -"

His dark mood is a shutter, closing off the usual shine of his expressions. He shakes his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Steve, he has his own family. Granted, it's not as big as ours, but he has support. He can take care of himself."

"We don't know that. He's just a skinny little kid."

Darcy smirks at this perfect opening. "Is Brooklyn that different from Queens?"

He sulks a moment. "No."

Darcy nods at his concession. "So, it was okay for you to go off to war, but it's not okay for this kid to protect the people around him? He's focusing on petty crime. He doesn't go looking for the big guns."

"No, they go looking for him."

Which, yeah, okay point. But still...

"You know, he told me he tried stepping back, but with his super-strength and agility came super-hearing. He could hear the crime happening, and he tried staying away, but that it hurt too much."

Steve doesn't say anything to that he just holds himself at a very tense attention next to her. Darcy knows that he understands that mindset, understands that seeing something bad happening can take a person's guts and twist them inside-out unless said person wades in to right the 'unrightable wrongs'.

But Steve sees Peter as an innocent, doesn't have the whole story. Crap, Peter was going to give her wounded puppy eyes.

"That's how he lost his uncle, you know." Horrible betrayal, Peter's eyes will say. Horrible, awful betrayal.

"What?" Steve doesn't ask the question sharply. His tone is slow and careful, trying to take what he already knows and figure out what she means.

Good, that means he'll listen closely. "Right after he got his powers, he had a fight with his uncle. He took off and saw some jerk robbing a convenience store but was being all sullen teenager, so he didn't do anything. His uncle saw the same guy and tried to stop him. The jerk killed the uncle. Petey got there just as his uncle died."

"Shit."

Steve was in the army, so it really shouldn't surprise her as much as it does whenever he swears. But sometimes it's hard to remember that the movies and comics and shows were highly fictionalized. Whatever, not important.

"So don't ask him not to do what he can. It's just cruel. I gave him my number and Coulson's in case of emergency." She nudges him. "Hey, he might accept it if you just offered him help, instead of trying to put him in a bubble. Maybe training."

He lights up at that. "Yeah! And he's interested in science. I should be able to get Tony, Bruce, or Dr. Foster to get him interested in coming up here. Right?" His smile is incandescent.

Wow, she'd almost forgotten about that. "Yep, and if he's any good at science, they'll be thrilled."

"Yeah!" He's buoyant on the flood of ideas about helping Peter and making sure he has access to all the resources the Avengers can offer.

"Now that we've solved that problem, will you go get some rest?"

The conversational detour stalls his thought process. "Rest?"

"Yeah, Cap, you know, at ease, stand down." She flicks his nose. "Sleeping."

"Huh, oh. I guess I haven't gotten much rest this week."

"Nope."

"Well, I should check on the rest of the team first. They probably -"

"Taken care of, Cap. You and Pepper are my last stops. Everyone else is either laying down or fast asleep."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"I guess it's my turn."

"Actually it's my turn. I'm holding the burden for tonight."

"Thank you, Miss Lewis. And goodnight."

"Night, Cap."


	6. Friendly Fire

**So this started out really different... MUCH less anti-Pepper. Not that this is really anti-Pepper, rather anti-Pepperony.**

* * *

CHAPTER 6: Friendly Fire

Darcy knocks on Pepper's office door. 5:30 A.M. The CEO won't go easy.

"Come in"

Pepper's hair is in a loose bun that looks like she's been running her hand through it.

"Hiya, Ms. Potts."

"Darcy." This woman could rival Coulson for dedication to paperwork. Or possibly just in avoiding empty beds that should hold Avengers.

"Boss lady, do you know what time it is?"

Pepper bites her lip and squints at her computer screen. "5:30. Oh," she breathes out as she sits back in her chair. "Well, I was bound to pick up some of Tony's habits, I guess?"

Darcy doesn't like that about their relationship. That Pepper always seems to just be humoring Tony. Like if she can't beat'em, she might as well join'em. Like she loves him, but always seems to be focused on his faults. And she is far too resigned to those faults. Pepper doesn't realize that while she might not need to take the mad scientist out of Tony, she could at least try to push him towards healthier behavior. She's still acting like she's his PA, except with benefits. Like she's not supposed to comment on his personal habits.

Darcy shakes her head. Not important. Couple's counselling later, nanny-nursemaid to a grown woman now. "Why are you still awake?"

Pepper sighs and shrugs, her eyes downcast. "He won't come to bed."

"News flash, Pep. He went to bed."

The CEO jerks her head up, her shock clear on her face. "What?"

Darcy smiles sadly. He didn't tell her. "I got him to go to bed."

The very little strength that had been keeping Pepper stiff drains. "Oh, thank you."

"Pepper?"

"What about the rest of them?" There's a forbidding edge to her voice. It screams, 'DO NOT ASK!'

"Asleep or getting ready for bed. JARVIS and I have been doing the rounds, bullying stubborn superheroes," Darcy assures her with a smile.

Pepper nods, not meeting her eyes. "Good, good. Well, I should start-"

Darcy cut her off with a glare. "I know that you're not about to say something about getting more work done. No one in this tower has gotten more that five sequential hours of sleep in the last week. You are going to play hooky tomorrow." She cringes and waves a hand dismissing that. "Today, whatever. You're going to sleep. And if you do get up, you're going to play with your handsome billionaire boyfriend. No work."

Pepper arches a brow. "And under what authority do you make these demands, Miss Lewis?"

Darcy plants her hands on the desk. "Under the authority that you need a break and so does Tony, but he won't take a break for long unless he has something to distract him from the nightmare that the last week has been, will he?"

"So you think I'm just his play thing too?" The red-head's voice is vicious.

Darcy rocks back on her heels. "What?" Despite her misgivings about their relationship, she had never thought of it like that. Tony is completely over the moon for his CEO. The thought that Pepper might even contemplate that he feels that way is a bit sickening. "You think he sees you as a plaything? Have you ever seen how that man acts around you? He loves you. How could you even ask that?"

"He never listens to me." Pepper - No, Ms. Potts runs a hand through her hair pulling the bun almost completely out. "And he's been distant lately. Especially after, well, a few weeks ago we visited my family. It didn't go well. Tony can be a bit much even when you're used to him, and my family can be subdued."

Darcy glares. "Okay, so one of your relatives said something about Tony, and even though they have no idea what your lives entail, you decided that they were better equipped to judge your situation? Your relationship with the eccentric genius who loves you."

"It's not just that. I love Tony Stark, but right now my whole world is revolving around him, and I don't think I'll be able to do that for much longer." She sighs. "I don't want to leave him, but soon he's going to notice and start pushing me away. And then I'm afraid he won't want me around anymore."

"So," Darcy breathes out. "What're you going to do?"

"I'd say that I'll wait until the world's not ending, so it won't endanger him or the team, but that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon."

Darcy is so not qualified for this. She watches Pepper shuffle papers absently, looking lost and small. "Did Tony hear whatever relative said… that?"

"No. Yes. Maybe, I'm not sure. He hasn't said yet."

"You need to talk to him. He won't take it well, but it'll start to distract him.

"You think I don't know that? I've been trying, but he's either asleep or in his damn workshop working on the suits."

It hits Darcy like lightning, and she draws in a sharp breath. "You don't like the suits." She stares at the other woman's shame-faced expression. "The suits made him a better man. No, not only that, but even if he hadn't, he wouldn't be yours." She stands and leans over the desk. "He would be cadding around being an asshole." She interrupts herself and rolls her eyes. "Okay, so he's still an asshole, but Iron Man saved his life. How could that be anything other than wonderful?"

Pepper doesn't quail, but her face closes up almost defensive. "The first time I saw the suit, it was riddled with bullet holes. He had fallen through the roof on his first real test flight. He had attacked a terrorist cell in Afghanistan. He had been back less than two months. And he just went back and killed at least five men." She sighs. "What was I supposed to feel about it? It's a constant reminder of how I almost lost him. About how I almost lose him everytime he suits up."

"It's a reminder that he's not giving up. That he's trying to be a better man." Darcy grits out with a shake of her head. "Goodnight, Ms. Potts. Go to sleep, don't, but don't pile it on Tony."

She walks out and down the hall where she leans against the wall. "J?"

"Miss Darcy?"

"Does Tony know?" God, she hopes he doesn't know but worries about the devastation it'll cause if he doesn't know.

"I couldn't say. However, I often find that Sir is more pessimistic than most. Also infinitely more paranoid. I do not believe Sir ever had much faith in his ability to hold Ms. Potts in a romantic relationship."

Darcy takes a deep breath and lets her head fall back. "Fuck."

"Indeed."

"JARVIS, how bad will it be?"

"Sir has never handled loss well. From what he has told me, the incident Ms. Potts was describing was more impulsive than he might have been otherwise if not for the particular village. Gulmira. The surgeon that helped Sir in the camp was from Gulmira."

"That'll do it." She rubs her eye in frustration. "Yeah, okay. Goodnight, J."

* * *

**This is just the only way I see the Pepper-Tony relationship happening. B/c Pepper and Tony just know each other too well, and she runs his company and also dating him. In dating him, she still kind of acts as his PA in the fact that she still has to wrangle him at times which at times involves wrangling the Avengers, b/c why not if she's already there? Which leads to them just kind of devolving.  
**

**IDK ~ S  
**


	7. Bottom of the List or Shirking Shirkers

_Ring, ring, ring. Click._

"What?"

"Hello, Director," Darcy sighs. This man was not Darcy's favorite person. He was going to snipe at her and growl while being laconic and mysterious.

"Lewis… It's 6 A.M. What the hell do you want?"

See, snipe, snipe, growl, growl, growl. Well, fuck him in his eyepatch. "Sir, with all due respect, shut up. I'm reporting in."

Darcy listens to dead air for a few moments waiting for him to yell at her. Because otherwise he'll just interrupt her. But instead he asks in his most long-suffering tone, "What did they do?"

"Sir?" Well that wasn't what she'd expected. But after a moment what he asked sinks in.

"You never report in. What did they do?" He's asking if they broke something or someone. Like they would have the energy or the motivation to get into any trouble not involving breaking themselves. Oh, that is just so not okay.

"Sir, the Avengers had a hard week, that's what they did." She keeps most of the anger out of her voice, but he must still hear something that he thinks means his superheroes made a mess that he'll have to clean up.

Because the asshole tries again, "So, why-"

"Sir, you are useless." She can't help it. She's still half-mad from her conversation with Pepper, and this jerk isn't even concerned for Phil, his one good eye or whatever. "You sent a political science major to be a handler for a bunch of crazy people. None of them have a good night's sleep for at least forty-eight hours. These people live in an office building. They have access to their work and are ridiculous, ridiculous people." She's yelling by the end of her rant. She knows she is, but she just spent the better part of three hours wrangling grown adults all older than her into getting some sleep.

And this man has the gall to ask her what they did wrong. Like they're just crazy, crazy assets.

"Shit."

She takes a deep breath to calm her breathing and sighs. "Exactly. None of them were sleeping until a few hours ago. They'll be out of commission until at least tomorrow. Ideally it'd be best if they weren't needed until after the weekend."

"Understood. Thank you, Miss Lewis. I'll pass that onto Richards and Xavier." He's backtracking, trying to placate her. Whatever, not like she has superpowers.

"Thank you, Director." Although she could probably bully Tony into making a suit. Or at least into suping up her taser.

"You should get some rest, too."

She snorts. So now he wants to take an interest in the health and welfare in the tower. "Oh, I plan to, sir. You're the last thing on my list."

"Good to hear."

"Lewis, out."

"Fury, out."

That was over. Darcy sighs and slides to the floor.

"Miss Lewis?"

"Hey, J?"

"Agent Romanov is asking after you. What should I say?"

Darcy smiles and levers herself to her feet. "On my way. Tell her to relax."

"She says that she has been trying but without you it's difficult."


End file.
